It’s okay to second-guess your wedding dress decision

I’m not sure if many other brides can relate to my experience, but for those who are second guessing their wedding dress decision, maybe this will help! I’ve been thinking about this a TON, and I have a few ideas on why this decision has been one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made.

I’m pretty easy going, but I enjoy having a plan and helping things move along smoothly. Wedding planning was no different. I booked the venue, photographer, florist and reached out to every other vendor we may need within the first 2 weeks of getting my engagement ring. Imagine my horror when my composure went right out the window as soon as it came time to actually decide on a wedding dress.

The proposal! PC: Katie Dessin Photography

I scheduled the appointment at the right time at the perfect location. I had all my girls there for guidance. I sent my top choices to my wonderful consultant (HIGHLY recommend Sophie at Ania Bridal) prior to the appointment and explained my likes and dislikes.

Me and my bridesmaids <3

And yet, even after all this prep, I couldn’t eat that night after my dress appointment (and trust me, I don’t miss many meals lol) because I was so beyond stressed about my dress choice.

Weeks later I am STILL second guessing my wedding dress choice, and I’ve (kinda, mostly, sometimes) come to terms with this. Why? Because:

You’re not choosing the dress that best represents you at this moment but what will represent you on your wedding day.

How can we possibly pick the right dress in, in my case, 8 months in advance?

I’m still in COLLEGE. I don’t know who I will be in 5 weeks when I graduate, much less 8 months. I have NO IDEA how this currently-long-distance relationship will grow once we live together. I have no clue what the wedding trends will be, or if I’ll actually stick to a diet. 

When I first came to these realizations I started to wonder if I needed the answers before I walked down the aisle. But then I remembered what I do know.

I know who I want to be with forever. This hilarious, redhead hunk who has way too many ugly pictures of me sleeping saved on his phone. I know the future my fiancé and I talk and dream about. I know us and what we strive to be.

I know who I WANT to be in 8 months.

PC: Katie Dessin Photography

So, what happened?

I had already signed a form that said I was "100% sure, no returns, YES, order the dress."  And then, I called and canceled my order (thank goodness I called early enough the next morning). I felt like such an idiot, but they were really nice to me.

I booked another appointment with the same fabulous consultant (seriously, Sophie at Ania Bridal) and only brought my parents (they weren’t much help in the decision as this is something you need to do yourself, but it’s nice to have someone there to nod when you figure it out for yourself).

 

I found a different dress.

 

The first dress was who I am now. Plain, tryna figure shit out, blending in, movement. The dress I chose in the end is who I want to be. Simple, structured, yet stunning with a little sexy. (See it here)

Dress #1 with my Grams

You’d have difficulty finding more different dresses if you tried. This new dress doesn't fall into place in the trends and inspo board I had envisioned for my wedding day, and yet, it is perfect for me and my bod.

I’m not trying to be a completely different person come my wedding day, but I am trying to grow into a successful woman. And this concept of success changes all the time for me, which is why I still second guess this dress. I’ve made this dress represent me, my relationship, my wedding and my future. These ideals shift and evolve, which is why I keep second guessing the dress. This is good. Stagnation and being content won’t help you achieve your goals.

The first dress would have been fine! Better than fine, it was beautiful! But after understanding why I was struggling, it was much easier to choose another dress and feel better about my decision.  We’re all ever growing, and when you put that much meaning behind a wedding dress, there’s no wonder why we second guess!

All of that to say: Choose a dress that resonates with how you want to feel and who you want to be on your wedding day.

I’m not saying you should second guess your dress decision, but if you are, join the club, girl. It’s totally fine.

XX,

Lena